hello!

Sitting in the dark with no distractions, eyes closed, letting everything go….forgetting everything and at the same time every thing that you’ve ever known is rushing through your head. Senses are heightened and the beat of the rain takes you away to a place where you could not have even imagined; a place of your worse nightmares, your biggest dreams, your happiest memories, and your worst. You may cry or laugh, it doesn’t matter, this is the place where anything can happen, and as your heart beat gets louder and louder, you forget everything again, the storm is gone, it’s you, and only you. And that’s when you remember that the only person you need to prove yourself to, is yourself. Nothing else matters, nothing else should matter.

Skywalker Sound Studios.

I woke up an hour earlier than usual and got to school by 6:20AM then boarded the bus to go to Skywalker. The bus ride there sucked; I felt carsick and had a massive headache until we actually started recording. Recording was alright, the beginning was slow, the middle was tiring, and the end was fun. After recording with Cantos I fell asleep on the couch while TNguyen and LKim watched TV, then I woke up on GKim with a million people watching TV with us. I thought I slept for hours, but it was only 30 minutes. So tired. Cantos left around 1PM so me and 4 other Cantos members watched Capella record while LKim watched TV and slept. In the next few hours there were massages, braiding, camera whoring, talking, eating, more talking, and more sleeeeeep. Pretty gooood. Boarded the bus at 6:30PM. The bus was funn, I was half asleep and half laughing at ALai and KOmar rapping with TWard (: Then suddenly we were back at school so TNguyen and I stopped by the basketball game against Los Altos (GOOD JOB BOYS!)

Exciting stuff yeh? 10 hours in the most amazing place in the world with the most talented people in the world.

I thought it was the 25th of January all day today.

Today was fun! Took two tests, probably bombed one. Made a video for Ken-ya Dance, and hung out with some cool kids at the library. HAHA, I SAW RUMI AND REI TODAYYYYY. Okay, I have physics to do D;

jarellz0rzy:

You’re just reminding them of the mistakes they made back then. If you watch their facial expression carefully, then you’ll see the hurt in their eyes as they reminisce everything that happened. 

Never use emotion as a weapon, it strikes deeper than you can imagine.

@lovemishell

[edit.] i want to hug and jump around with this girl.

There is one thing that I don’t understand, and I’d never understand. Flirting with someone else’s boyfriend/girlfriend. Are you stupid? Let me answer that for you, yes, yes you are. You must be the dumbest shit in humanity (lul jk, not that serious). I’ve always thought it was common sense to not flirt with someone’s significant other. Especially if they’ve been together forever, and they’re both very happy with who they are with. Don’t go try and flirt with him or her, because guess what? One day, you’re going to have a bunch of people hating on you, and you won’t have the right to ask why. Shit, this is so dumb I don’t even know what to say. I don’t care how nice, popular, pretty, smart, whatever you are; if you’re the type of person to flirt with someone who is already taken, we can’t be friends.

rage.

I just typed up 3 paragraphs in chinese for someone on tumblr, then tumblr goes wack, and shuts down on me, and I can’t even retrieve that post. Holy fuck. I’m about to go apeshit on someone.

Tumblr, 我恨死你了! 你这个大王八蛋!

Just kidding, I ain’t even mad.

Hehe, my neighbor’s kids are playing “war”. They made mini forts with blankets and chairs attempting to shoot each other with nerf guns and water guns.. Their code names are “baby princess booboo”, “little duck”, “big momma”, and “elephant doodoo”. HOW CUTE. Their screams and laughs make me miss being a kid.

I remember how @iwong and I used to build “houses” in my living room with couches, pillows, blankets, and chairs. We had a mini stove, and it was like our mini dream house. We would always end up making a huge mess, and now that I think about it, my poor momma always had to clean up after us (I love you mommy!) During our nap times, we’d come up with ridiculous stories, and our imagination would just go on and on and on. And during those years, I personally thought that those were the best stories in the world. I loved my childhood, and I was blessed to have had such wonderful influences while I grew up.

[edit] I was cleaning my room and I found some old albums from when I was little, each picture with a happy and wonderful memory. Maybe I’ll post some one day.

Pho night.

Today was so carefree and fun. Just like how it should have always been, and how it should always be. School was just the usual, but thinking about pho night got me going, and then the last bell finally rung and off I went. First SPoon drove me, TNguyen, and LLuong to my house to load the four boxes of soda, then he dropped us off at TNguyen’s house to prep for later that night. We prepped and prepped and VHo was such a beast at carving chicken (who knew?) And TNgyuen made me food<3

We all loaded the cars and drove back to school to set up for pho night and we had what felt like a million amazing and wonderful hungry people (: (THANKS FOR COMIN’ OUT YOU GUYS! HOPE YOU LIKED IT!) I burnt myself with a scorching hot pot, and watched a basketball game (WOOOO VARSITY BOYS 40-27) Cleaning up the cafeteria after pho night though was a pain, because three of our wonderful hungry people left gum on the ground (really guys?) and there were crumbs and crap on the ground. SIGH, but what had to be done was finally done, and we drove over to TNguyen’s house to help her clean her house. Went to McD’s with VViet and @lovemishell. Drove back to TNguyen’s house and just kicked it.

Wait, so now that I typed up my day, it doesn’t seem that interesting…BUT it’s the little moments that makes it so fun.

OOH, and I saw EVu after pho night~! AHH, missed her.

Lord, help me.

Well, whatever it’s called, I pulled it hurts like crazy.

La Vics virginity gone.

@hihellowhatsup (left)

School was blah today, even with the whole rally goin’ on. I was really excited, until I saw that half of 2012 wasn’t screaming, even after @lovemishell and I screamed in their faces, trying to hype them up. Then after, I heard those same people complaining about how we didn’t do one of our cheers, and it’s like UH, YEAH WE DID, MAYBE IF YOU WERE ACTUALLY CHEERING YOU WOULD HAVE KNOWN AND DONE IT. It’s like, they were totally spaced out during the rally and it’s like HELLOOOO? IT’S A FREAKING RALLY, WHAT ELSE CAN YOU POSSIBLY BE LOOKING AT? Yeeesh. But whatever. It was fun teaming up with the seniors, and I really loved everyone’s costumes.

I lost my voice for the rest of the day, so that sucked. But after school I went to downtown San Jose with some people, and there were the most interesting people on the bus. It made the ride much more entertaining. After we got off the bus, we went to La Victoria’s and I had my very first La Vics experience. Pretty yummyyyyy! Too bad A.Chang broke the bathroom door and I got blamed for it -___- Later, we got Quickly’s (thank you @bbdoublebsquared!) and had like a million bathroom breaks; these people have the smallest bladders in the world. THOSE BATHROOMS ARE FREAKING SCARY TOO.

Anyways, I’m going to do my ALH reading and go to bed.

Shut the fuck up. Slap yourself, and knock some sense into yourself. Pardon me for being so blunt, but really now. I’m not talking about the girls that really do love their boyfriends, or even girls that spend a lot of time with their boyfriends. I’m talking about those girls who can’t live without their men being there with them 24/7 and the only thing that they’d talk about is their boyfriends.

No, I don’t want to hear about how your tongue hurts from making out. Keep that to yourself. That’s disgusting.

Don’t get me wrong, but I think couples are freakin’ cute. I love couples, THEY’RE CUTE. But when you make your boothang your life, and revolve everything around him, that annoys me. Let me explain:

Generally speaking, one day that guy is going to leave you. And because you made him the center of your mother fucking universe, your whole life is going to come tumbling down. You’re gonna be depressed, and you won’t know what to do with yourself. Then you’re going to have to do some hardcore soul searching. That guy you’re with is apart of YOUR life, and you’re apart of his. Mutual love, and understanding is what it’s all about. Girls who rely on their boyfriends too much are going to end up giving up so much and guess what? He might not even care half as much as you do.

Y’all need to believe in your own capabilities of making yourself happy. You belong to yourself. He doesn’t make you whole, you make yourself whole. It’s your choice.

[edit] If the only thing you’re going to talk about on tumblr is “boohoo you’re not sorry for what you’ve done”, “boohoo, you won’t talk to me on the phone”, “boohoo, you’re talking to other girls”, “boohoo, you called me ugly”, I’m unfollowing.

There is so much to see, learn, and experience. How can I possibly die without doing this? I only live once.

Wing Stop.

Mmm, haven’t had it in so long. Went with @lovemishell and @hihellowhatsup and just chilled there talking about random stuff….until a chick decides to throw up next to the soda machine right behind @lovemishell. Oh my….it wasn’t even like a little bit, it was a mother freakin’ POOL of half digested wings, sauce, soda, and God knows what else. At least it didn’t smell.

Then @lovemishell and I hung around for a little bit longer after saying by to @hihellowhatsup (btw, I hope you had a safe flight! :) and we talked about colleges and classes for next year. Holy crap, it’s a scary thought. Graduation, letters, college, the whole process determines your future. Not some lowkey thing someone can just halfass their way through. So I plan to go to my counselor one day (if she’s ever there) and just sit down and work everything out. GOOD PLAN.

This is my cousin Ranice (right).

I love her to death. We talk about everything and anything when we hang out, and we always end up laughing really hard…usually over nothing. I tell her everything and we always have long ass talks during our family parties and it never gets old. Ever. We’ve never fought and she’s just the sweetest girl in the world (: I dedicated this post to her just because I wanted to acknowledge how thankful I am to have a cousin like her. We can be totally unattractive around each other, but we still love each other :)

jaydendelacruz:

I’m a nice person. But if you abuse and take advantage of the friendship. The middle finger throws up, and I’ll bounce. I don’t stick around for anyone’s bull shit. Period.

Sacrafice. This is probably one of the hardest things that I have had to learn so far in my 16 years of living. You see, I’m a person who get’s very sentimental over even the littlest things. I like knowing who I can rely on…I like knowing my boundries. I’m very open minded but my morals are set in stone. I won’t change them for anyone. I’m stubborn, hot headed, and I guess…I’m selfish. I want so many things in this world, but most of all, I really just want people to get along. Okay, yeah that sounds really stupid, and blah. But you know what? I don’t give a shit about what you guys think. This Christmas, I spent it with my mom’s side in New York, and her family is ridiculously close. There’s so much care and love. Living with them gives me such a warm feeling. Today, I arrived at the San Francisco airport around 10:30AM and while I was going to Target to get some things, I ran into a homeless man who was sitting on the corner of the sidewalk with a little boy. The little boy was dressed warmly, but the man was in a dirty, ripped up t-shirt and pants that weren’t any better. I walked past them and something fell out of my wallet. The little boy ran up to me and gave me back a little envelope. I smiled and said thank you, and told him that since he found it, he can keep it. He looked over at the man, and he shook his head and handed the envelope back to me. I took it and told them Happy New Years and went into Target. As I was paying, I saw the envelope in my wallet and decided to do something. I went into the men’s section and grabbed a jacket and some sweats. I went to the food court to get some food and I walked outside hoping to find the man and the little boy. I saw them, and over heard the man telling the boy to zip up his jacket because it was windy. I walked up to them and handed them the bag telling them that it was just a little something to tell them thank you. The man took the bag and took out the clothes, and gave the boy his food. He said “bless you, sweetheart”. And when that little boy looked up at me smiling with a mouthful of food, I can’t even explain how my heart felt like. It was overwhelmed with satisfaction, and just amazing warm fuzzy feelings.

I’ve always wanted to do something like that, but I was always too afraid. I don’t know what was different today, but seeing how that man treated the little boy made me so thankful for my family and friends. I don’t know if I would ever be able to sacrafice my well being like the man did. But now, maybe, possibly, it is possible. When it comes down to the people and things that we love, I’m sure that we can make all the sacrafices in the world. I hope everyone had a very safe and warm holiday, and let’s pray for those who aren’t as fortunate as us.